Posted in April, Uncategorized

April, oh April

In the name of anxiety and stress, to say that I am the only one who can control how I feel is quite an understatement (overstatement, depending how you see it).

It’s almost the end of April, and I have officially been in a slump for almost four months. I got into the program that I had been longing to get into, yet, as expected, it took me quite some time to figure out how I’m supposed to study, and simply get settled into the environment I’ve gotten myself into.

It’s so hard to settle my emotions and thoughts when there’s so much I’d love to do, but cannot do because of this slump I’ve been experiencing.

Let me define the slump I’ve experienced.

“A slump” is when you feel a strong force to do something, yet you can’t because of your mental state. Whether this is depression (which I’m pretty sure it isn’t, but perhaps something similar and less cruel) or not, you recognize that every failure that you’re experiencing are things that’s caused by you and you alone. But still, there’s no single hair on your body that can put yourself out there to make sure you do all the things that you’re supposed to do.

Perhaps this slump can also be correlated with laziness. At this point in my life, I don’t think I care enough to understand what I have been experiencing.

I’m going to sort my emotions and plans out on Thursday, and after that, everything shall be fine.

Although I cannot make any promises to myself at the moment, I’m sure time will.

(On the other hand, Hyukoh came out with their first album ever. It’s indescribably great).